What the Early Church Teaches Us About Healthy Conflict Resolution

Have you ever noticed how quickly people assume something must be wrong when a church talks about problems? I remember preaching through Acts years ago and coming to this same passage about the early church’s first internal conflict. Afterward, multiple people pulled me aside, lowered their voices, and asked, “So what’s really going on?”

Nothing was going on. We were just preaching through the book of Acts.

But that reaction reveals something important about how we think about church health. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves that a healthy church is one without problems. The reality? Church health isn’t measured by the absence of problems—it’s measured by how faithfully we handle problems when they arise.

And they will arise.

The Problem Nobody Saw Coming

Acts 6 opens with a jarring phrase: “Now at this time, while the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint arose.” Notice the timing. This wasn’t happening during a low point. The church was thriving. People were being added daily. The Word was spreading. The apostles had just been flogged for preaching Jesus and had rejoiced in their suffering.

Everything was going remarkably well.

And then came the complaint.

The Hellenistic Jews—those who had adopted more Greek culture and customs—accused the church of neglecting their widows in the daily food distribution. Meanwhile, the native Hebrew widows were being cared for. This wasn’t a minor logistical hiccup. The word Luke uses for “complaint” is the same word the Septuagint uses to describe the Israelites murmuring against Moses in the wilderness. This was serious grumbling that threatened to fracture the unity of the early church.

Here’s what makes this so significant: this division existed before the church even began. The cultural divide between Hellenistic and Hebrew Jews was real and deep. When these groups came to faith in Christ, there was beautiful unity. But growth, logistical challenges, and limited resources began to expose fault lines that were always there.

The tension was real. The complaint was legitimate. And if left unaddressed, vulnerable widows would suffer.

The Response That Changed Everything

What the apostles did next is stunning. They called the entire congregation together—no closed-door meetings, no damage control—and said something that might sound shocking at first: “It is not desirable for us to neglect the Word of God in order to serve tables.”

Wait, what? Were they too prideful to help? Too busy with “important” ministry?

Not at all.

The apostles weren’t protecting their reputation—they were protecting their calling. Look at what they said in verse 4: “We will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” This is the same word used in Acts 2:42 when the early believers “devoted themselves” to the apostles’ teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread, and prayer. It’s a word of steadfast, unwavering commitment.

The apostles understood something critical: if they stopped praying and preaching to distribute food, this generation might have their needs met—but the gospel wouldn’t spread. They had to stay focused on what Jesus specifically called them to do.

But here’s what they didn’t do: they didn’t ignore the problem. They didn’t spiritualize it away or tell the Hellenistic widows to have more faith. Instead, they delegated the responsibility to qualified leaders.

Qualifications That Seem Excessive

The apostles told the congregation to select seven men with three specific qualifications: good reputation, full of the Spirit, and full of wisdom.

For distributing bread? Really?

The task itself wasn’t complicated—make sure everyone gets food. But the qualifications were surprisingly high because in the church, there’s no such thing as “just” a ministry. Every role matters. Every position of leadership and service requires spiritual maturity, wisdom, and character.

Think about what wasn’t on the list. The apostles didn’t say, “Pick the biggest donors” or “Choose the people who sold their land.” They focused on character, spiritual depth, and practical wisdom. Why? Because addressing this problem required more than logistics—it required people who could navigate tension, restore trust, and maintain unity while getting the job done.

The congregation responded beautifully. They chose seven men—and here’s a detail you might miss—all seven had Greek names. Stephen, Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas were likely from the very group that had raised the complaint. The congregation essentially said, “We trust these men from the affected community to lead the solution.”

The apostles prayed over them, laid hands on them in a public display of support, and empowered them to solve the problem.

The Result: Exponential Growth

And what happened? Acts 6:7 tells us: “The Word of God kept on spreading, and the number of disciples continued to increase greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests were becoming obedient to the faith.”

Not only did the church maintain its health—it exploded with growth. Even the priests, some of the hardest people to reach, were coming to faith. Why? Because the church handled a potentially divisive problem with wisdom, humility, and faithfulness. Their unity in the midst of conflict became a powerful testimony.

This is what healthy church looks like. Not the absence of problems, but the faithful handling of problems when they come.

What This Means for Us Today

So how do we apply Acts 6 to our lives and churches? Let me offer four angles to consider:

Don’t Assume Problems Mean Unhealth

When you hear about a church facing challenges, resist the urge to immediately assume something is deeply wrong. Sometimes problems arise simply because a church is growing, changing, or facing the realities of life in a broken world. The better question isn’t “Are there problems?” but “How are they being handled?”

And please—don’t add to the problem by joining the gossip train. Grumbling, murmuring, and speculation are sins that make problems worse, not better.

Protect Your Calling

Some of you are being pulled in a thousand directions. You have a willing heart, and every time you hear about a need, you say yes. But here’s the truth: it’s okay to protect what God has called you to do.

The apostles weren’t being selfish or prideful when they refused to wait tables. They were being faithful to their unique calling. If they had abandoned prayer and preaching, the gospel wouldn’t have spread, and none of us might be here today.

You only have 24 hours in a day. You can’t do everything. And one day you’ll stand before God and give an account for your life—not everyone else’s. Don’t arrive at that moment and say, “I didn’t do what You called me to do because I was too busy doing what everyone else wouldn’t do.”

It’s okay to say no. Not because you’re prideful, but because you’re faithful.

Step Up When Needed

Now, here’s the flip side: some of you need to step up. You see needs. You hear about problems. But you remain passive—not because you’re protecting your calling, but because you simply don’t want to be inconvenienced.

The early church had at least seven people who moved from complaining to solving. They didn’t just criticize—they became part of the solution. They met the qualifications. They served. They got it done.

What need do you see that you could help address? Where could you serve? What resources, time, or wisdom could you offer? Some of you aren’t doing too much—you’re doing too little. And the body needs you.

Address Problems Wisely, Not Defensively

When you’re working hard and someone brings you a complaint, it’s tempting to get defensive. “Don’t you know how hard I’m working? Don’t you see what I’m doing? I just got flogged for Jesus, and now you’re complaining?”

The apostles could have responded that way. Instead, they listened. They acknowledged the problem was real. They dealt with it humbly and wisely.

Spiritual maturity means being willing to hear criticism—even when we don’t like it—and asking, “Is there truth here?” If there is, we address it. Even if it hurts. Even if we wish it weren’t happening.

Questions for Reflection

Are you problem-ready or just expecting to be problem-free? How would your church or community respond if a significant conflict arose tomorrow?

What has God uniquely called you to do? Are you protecting that calling, or are you so scattered that nothing is getting done well?

Where do you need to step up and serve? What legitimate need could you help address instead of just talking about it?

How do you respond to criticism or complaints? Do you get defensive, or do you humbly ask if there’s truth that needs to be addressed?

The Church We Want to Be

My greatest desire for the church—not just Howell Bible Church, but the global body of Christ—isn’t that we’d be problem-free. That’s unrealistic. My greatest desire is that we’d be problem-ready.

When complaints arise, let’s bring them to the right people. When conflicts emerge, let’s address them faithfully. When needs surface, let’s raise up qualified, Spirit-filled leaders to meet them. And through it all, let’s never lose focus on our core mission: to give powerful testimony that Jesus is the Christ.

Problems will come. The question is: will we handle them in a way that honors God, maintains unity, and allows the Word to keep spreading?

The early church did. And by God’s grace, so can we.

Listen to the full sermon here: A Complaint Arose – Acts 6:1-7

Preached October 26, 2025 at Howell Bible Church